On Mirroring: The Secret Code of Connection
If you notice that the other person is mirroring your body language, that’s a great sign!
This means that you two are in rapport and connecting. (You can trigger this by mirroring them a little first)
If you've ever been talking to someone and thought: "I wonder if this person is enjoying our conversation?"
You have a few options:
Ask them "Hey, are you enjoying our conversation?" "Also: Can we be best friends? Please don't ever leave me!"
Try to read their mind like Professor Charles Xavier. If it turns out you CAN read minds, then you'll know what I just mind-texted you.
Use the Mirror Test.
When we are "in rapport" with someone, we naturally mirror our body language, and even our breathing. (limbic resonance.)
How can you use this to tell if you're connecting with your conversational partner?
When you're asking those questions and making those observations while making small talk, take a quick beat and see if you two are mirroring yet.
Examples of mirroring:
-When one person takes a drink, the other one does too.
-When one person leans against the bar, the other one does too.
-When one person smiles, the other one does too.
If you two aren't naturally mirroring yet, start the mirroring:
-When they take a drink, you do too.
-When they lean against the bar, you do too.
-When they smile, you do too.
Then, after mirroring them for a bit, notice how they start to mirror you when you drink, lean, or smile.
We tend to like and trust people who are similar to us, and mirroring body language is a great way to trigger liking and trust.
Action Step: Use the Mirror Test while making small talk to see if you’re in rapport with your conversational partner.